Romantic entanglements are complicated by a unique silver cow creamer that is desired by both Bertie’s Uncle Thomas and his rival, Judge Sir Watkyn Bassett. Sir Watkyn purchases the creamer by telling the shopkeeper, falsely, that Thomas had sent him. Bertie’s Aunt Dahlia and friend "Stiffy" Byng both want him to steal the creamer for different reasons, but Judge Sir Watkyn has already sentenced him once (for stealing a bobby’s helmet) and he doesn’t want to go to jail.

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